Monday, November 27, 2006

The Mailbag (V)

A little past due. Same worthless nonsense.

While reading the mini-book report on pornography in the last Mailbag, I started thinking about the similar negative effect the hip-hop culture has on women’s image and the way it portrays them. Could songs of the variety of “It must be yo’ ass cuz it aint yo face” and “You’se a hoe” be as demeaning to women as sexually-explicit material?
-Lil’ Sameera.
The PROjects at Abu Nssair.

The hip-hop culture IS sexually-explicit material and its devastating effect on women’s image is far exceeding that of porn. If we ignore the destructive effect of the rap culture on the African-American community (take for example the black guy who is working on a graduate degree in a technical field, yet he is always mixing some beats just in case a big producer wants to give him his shot and drops his album), and the ridiculous violence, drugs and money messages it promotes, the way it portrays women should not be taken lightly. Consider the following:

-The most alarming part is the fact that a lot of women gladly subscribe to the degrading designation issued by the rap culture. It is not uncommon to see an “independent, feminist, professional, working” woman who is preaching women pride all day, and when she goes out, she is joyfully doing her best video hoe impression, “shaking what her mama gave her”, “backing that ass up”, or even responding to songs instructions of the “do the chicken head” variety while singing along, under the excuse of “it’s fun”.

-While pornography can be viewed as disgusting and perverted, the rap culture is so socially acceptable to the point that it could be a source of bragging by both men and women as an indication of “hipness”.

- While exposure to pornography is optional, rap music can be force fed to the masses. It is more accessible and sometimes one could be unwillingly subjected to it. (Television, music stores, other people cars, video games, nightlife spots are just examples of locations were one would involuntarily listen to a catchy tune, get used to it, and then start subliminally repeating its explicit abusive lyrics).

Between its popularity, the social acceptability and the clarity of its message (straight- forward abuse and violence against women), the negative effect of a song by someone like the Ying-Yang twins is much more severe than that of a porn flick.

With all the technological progress that the human race has experienced it seems like there has not been any ground-breaking innovations in the area of toilet paper. We seem like we just reached a stagnant point. You may consider the developments of “squaring”, coloring, softness, or even the new “moist” roll, but there just has not been a major change in technique.
-Anonymous.

This space does not appreciate any form of bathroom humor and prefers to abstain from discussing any issues that has to do with bodily excrements, leaving it to where it belongs.

Is there any chance that the beloved Queen of Jordan has got too caught up in the whole “model” thing and decided to take the next step towards the “modelish” trendy behavior: Anorexia.
P.S.: I wanted to provide a before and after pictures but it seems that these days it is almost impossible to find her photos anywhere.
-Talleg Talleh Yabo 7ssain
Size OOO.

I do not comment on the personal life of royalty either. No matter how tempting it may appear.

After the death of Red Auerbach, a lot of people are claiming that he is the best basketball coach ever. I think they are mistaken and I will take Phil Jackson over him any day. They have the same number of rings (9). People claim that Phil Jackson had Michael Jordan for six of his rings, but Jordan never won anything for the first seven years before Phil got there. Also the Celtics had too many good players compared to the other teams of the era who did not have anyone on the same level of Bill Russell.
-Yassine Gustafson
Tangier, Morocco.

Despite the fact that you are completely mistaken, you are the winner of the prestigious e-mailer of the week award. The issue you brought up is not even an argument and the only thing Jackson shares with the great Auerbach is the “number” of Championships, which loses significance when put in context. Auerbach is an influential figure who has changed the game of basketball over the past 25 years. Phil Jackson always received a finished product. Players selection went to the GMs (Krause in Chicago and West in L.A.). It is shocking that he does not have a say on personnel even at this stage of his career. Red Auerbach is one of the best talent evaluators and his legacy extends past the posing on the sidelines and the whole unnecessary theatrics of it, (you know the whole side-line coaching act), into the actual assembly of a winning teams and he was the main contributor to the success of the franchise for years, even after he had left the sidelines. And we have not even touched on his effect on race relations yet.

As for the two points you made above, I will email you a brief recount of every Celtics championship from 1957 until 1969, emphasizing the main Celtics stars and the main opposition stars. (I cannot risk alienating my three readers who I am sure are not interested in the details of the careers of Sam Jones, Bob Cousy, John Havlicek and Wilt Chamberlain).

But, it would be interesting to go over Michael Jordan’s career and trace how the Bulls went from a 20+ win team to the greatest dynasty of the 90s, and the alleged effect on Phil Jackson on their success. (Note to GMs everywhere: This is how you build around a superstar).

1984: The Bulls were a lottery team (27-55) that ended up with the third pick and Jordan. A look at the (no name) roster can be found here: http://www.basketball-reference.com/teams/CHI/1984.html
1985: Key additions: Jordan. Playoffs. First round (Milwaukee: Terry Cumming, Sidney Moncrief)
1986: KA: Oakley, Paxton. Jordan breaks his foot in the regular season. First round sweep to the Champions Celtics (Bird, MacHale Parrish)
1987: KA: None. First round sweep to the same Celtics.
1988: KA: Rookies Grant (10th overall) Pippen (5th overall). Semi-finals to Detroit in (Thomas, Dumars. Laimbaeer, Rodman, Mahorn, Salley).
1989: KA: Bill Cartwright for Charles Oakley. Rookies Grant and Pippen are not coming of the bench anymore. A completely new starting lineup. Conference Finals. 4-2 to the Champions Pistons (who added Mark Aguirre and proceeded to sweep a Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Green, Thompson, Scott) Lakers team.
1990: KA: Rookie C Stacey King and rookie point guard B.J. Armstrong. Assistant Phil Jackson replaces Doug Collins and brings in triangle specialist Tex Winter. Pippen is an all star for the first time. Conference Finals. 4-3 to the Champions Pistons.
1991: KA: None: 4-0 Pistons. 4-1 Lakers. Championship.

Notice how Jordan was already changing the record books by his third year and (arguably) reaching the peak of his career. He runs into the Celtics 80's dynasty by himself and gets swept twice. Pieces start being assembled around him and he is facing a peaking, battle-tested Detroit team who has been battling the elite of the league for the past three years: (A 4-3 loss to the Celtics in the 87 conference finals, and a 4-3 loss to the Lakers in the 88 finals).Jordan is in his Seventh year. Pippen and Grant are in the fourth year. Sophmores Armstrong and King are the sixth and seventh best scorers, and this is the third straight year for the starting 5 together. The Celtics and Lakers Dynasties are at the finishing stages. The Detroit team that was more experienced and flat-out better than the Bulls is now older and is on the decline. And ALL OF A SUDDEN this has to do with Jackson taking over from Collins !!

I cannot believe they have closed the National Jordanian Tobacco Company. Say goodbye to all the fine brands. Packs of Reem, Top Twenty, Philadelphia and Kamal are collectors’ items. This is the ugly result of Globalization. This what happens when you allow Viceroy, L&M and Gauloise to penetrate your market. This is outrageous.
-Abu Mahmood
Just when I gave up on Heeshi they take away my GoldStar.

Take it easy, your chances of a cancerous tumor are pretty high already and you do not need stress to increase them. Although I feel your anger over losing the fancy brand that you are used to (Did you know that King Hussein himself used to smoke a special GoldStar blend, or so the rumor goes), but maybe this could be a chance for you to take the next step towards a cigarette that does not need constant “relighting”. I won’t blame Globalization for this national loss as much as I blame the fact that some other companies are using more tobacco and less wood dust in their cigarettes. I can say with all confidence that in the past eight years I have not seen anyone in any walk of life smoking the brands you mentioned above. Still it hurts to lose them.

Speaking of Reem, my friend Mohammad always tells the story of the architect and the drafter who worked for his uncle. They made around 70JDs a month, and between transportation and the daily lunch (ONE Falafel Sandwich), they could not afford any kind of health care or medication. So when the drafter tooth ache reached the unbearable limit, his pain killer was a pack of the great orange pack with the galloping red deer. A pack of Reem cigarettes was the only pain killer he could afford. The problem is he was not a smoker but that was the only feasible option.

And one final smoking note: After years of fighting against the cheap marketing ploy of “smoking means manhood” that got male teenagers to experiment with and eventually get hooked on the disgusting habit, there is a recent trend that promotes smoking to “independent/ feminist/ sex and the city” delusional females. The twisted hidden message reads something like this: “Smoking always meant manhood. If you want to be as strong as a man, as independent as a man, as fearless as a man,…, a pack of Marlboro lights is your way of showing it”. There are many areas at which women need to demand and achieve equality, but smoking should not be one of them.

“The internal security and intelligence agency has uncovered a secret organization consisting of two people, who tried to smuggle hidden weapons from the Kingdom to Palestine, in association with people from the gulf area who provided them with $20,000 to execute the plan. The authorities were able to contain their scheme and they are faced with four counts of possession of explosives and automatic weapons (Kalashnikov rifle)”.
This is a literal translation of a first page headline (Details here. Total amount of weapons: 4 Rockets, 2 RPGs, 4 rifles, a box of ammunition, and a glass of mercury) in a Jordanian newspaper from two weeks ago. In the middle of the Zionist massacre in Beit Hannon, and on the same day that featured another 11 Palestinian martyrs, can’t they at least move such a disgrace to the inside pages?
-An angry group of one.

The security of the Kingdom is not a matter to be taken lightly. The ever-alert intelligence departments cannot allow the Kingdom to be a transit location for weapon smugglers and arm dealers (Unless of course it is done through the palace, on the international level, and with association with notorious arm dealing mafias).

A sovereign state like Jordan has to respect its peace treaties. It cannot allow the longest confrontation frontier to jeopardize its allies. Again the kingdom has to protect its territories against all conspiring organizations and factions (even if it was consisting of two people or less). Unless of course the territories are needed for an American military base, a secret American torture prison or a cross-over for Zionist planes heading towards Iraq. The Palestinians are neither at war nor at peace, so all these amateurish weapon smuggling incidents should be met with the deserved punishment, until the all-out war breaks out, and that is when the borders would be wide open.

And then, you have two Mossad agents, sneaking into the country with Canadian passports and conducting an operation with chemical weapons against a Jordanian citizen (from all roots and origins). The late King Hussein does the plausible thing and decides to save four people. He demands the antidote for Khaled Mashal and the release of Sheikh Ahmad Yassine in exchange for the two accidentally-captured spies. Good times. Three years later, the disabled Sheikh Yassine is blown up in front of a mosque (with the Zionist either getting the approval or completely ignoring King Abdullah, both equally disgraceful), while the two spies are working on their next plan (if not already inside of Jordan). On the bright side, we have a seat in the United Nations, a colorful flag and the dullest national anthem. And whether you like it or not, this is sovereignty and it won’t be compromised, damn it.

I rllaey lkeid taht tehroy taht cialm taht it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are at the rghit pclae. I wnat to tset it myself, so if you cnnoat raed tihs it is not my fluat. And sncie I do not tsurt it and no one is gniong to ustnaendrd a tihng eehtir way, I am ginong to use my fovartie aonynums qtoue :"if you tinhk Fcuk is fnuny Fcuk yuorslef and svae yuor mneoy”.
-Dyslexic

What a perfect way to end the worst mailbag ever.

To send your irrelevant questions, and risk the chances of increased obscurity:
abushreek_jor@yahoo.com

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Allow me to shed some light on a recent invention in the area of toilet paper technology. The new trend is to have bathroom reading material (which can range from MAD magazine to the most technical paper published in Nature) printed on each square of paper. The idea is simple: you read then you wipe with it, an exemplification of the basic principle of "El Qari wil Khari wa7ad"

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOLOL! Jameed walak LMAO LMAO!

BTW maksoor 3alayy talat 7alqaat, assuming you maintained the original episode/month ratio ...

Anonymous said...

yislam tomak ya rajol..i only recently came upon ur site the rest of the blogs conduct self-censorship and try to justify our regimes actions with every attempt they make on attacking our regimes, im not commenting on this article i just thought that i should write what i want here because u are more probable to read it in the last group of comments. Hehe the article about the monarchy amazing the one about the idol-worshiping even better, as they say "bidog 3al watar il 7assas"...keep it up

Anonymous said...

Do people who comment anonymously also practice a form of self-censorship?

Abu Shreek, can you add this question to the next Mailbag?

Anonymous said...

LOL, yeah, you would think, but, errm, Abu Shreek, isn't really a name, but, whatever ... :|

Abu Shreek said...

Jameed,
Thanks for the toilet paper tip. I can think of many many writers and local columnists that will be perfect for such an invention (7akeehom bikharri, plus wiping with what they write be very satisfying and can diffuse some of your rage after you read their crap). Actually I am calling this the Abdel-Hadi Raji invention.

Your question is in the next mailbag, bass please ma teeji bil readers 3ashan il traffic wil ads, you know. (baini wa bainakk I was about to delete his comment as a censorship joke, but he was said nice things so i could not).

Anon,
Feel free to be as anonymous as you want and don’t listen to Jameed. But I’d rather have you come with a take or emphasize on a point.

Billy Bob Thornton,
Mish 3ajibni wad3akk.

Anonymous said...

Haaaa? No thanks, I don't fancy neither anorexic cats nor ebony (yeah I know, was just a role, so) ...

Til7as, LOL.

Bass fe3lan innoh wad3y bikhzy mu2akharan!

Hint for all of you with fake sense of anonymity: ISPs can track down an IP to tell who's who, when needed, and even if it's dynamic, ISPs ARE the ones that CHANGE that IP and they DO have a log of who used what and when! :O

Be very afraid ... ;)