Profile: Abu Shreek il Mikaneek™

At the corner that leads you into the endless “To All Departments” hallway, there was a big billboard. Every morning, some of our enthusiastic lady colleagues took on the habit of posting newspapers clippings on it, thus creating “Saba7 il Khair ya Handaseh: Good Morning Engineering”. Daily headlines, cartoons and articles were neatly arranged and it made for a very popular read between lecture breaks and dead waiting times.

One afternoon, during a “very interesting” lecture of “Science and Society” (An optional elective), Abu Shreek il Mikaneek composed his first contribution. Abu Shreek source of inspiration and annoyance was the official holiday announced on the day of the (first) solar eclipse. The highly productive work force and the relentless student body are to be awarded a day off on the day of a partial solar eclipse!!

Abu Shreek suggested that since the government is very concerned about school kids and their health (the official explanation and the main reason for the “eclipse holiday” was to protect kids kids against being exposed to the harmful UV rays. It caused some people to lock themselves in and block the openings under their doors,and spend the day in complete darkness, to prevent the fatal rays from penetrating their houses),then there should be a day off on (3eed il Faggoosseh) for the safety of the kids .

(3eed il Faggoosseh : a classic fun-generating practice in the schools of Jordan , very popular among kids between the ages of 8-16. It is mainly an exchange of surprising swings and blows to the head, using the outside of the two interlocked hands, while screaming (il yoom 3eed il faggooseh). Given the shock trauma, mild concussions and brain-cell damage it caused over the years, (il fagooseh) has definitely earned its own holiday on its (3eed).

After pinning his "scribblings" to the board, Abu Shreek was delighted to see a few comments under his piece of paper. A few agreements and a few mildly offensive replies encouraged him to utilize the dull lectures time for something productive. He followed up with (Ighdabb: get mad; with the theme “Fellow students your life sucks, do something about it”), (3abberr 3ann nafsak: if you do not agree with Abu Shreek, write your own articles) and (Al islam howa Al 7al : it does not mean that if I pray and you pray I should be voting for you and your lame party), among a few more, that generated reactions and some times were taken out by the school’s security.

Within a few weeks, “saba7 il khair ya handaseh” became a space for the students’ opinions on various issues. One morning there were so many articles, “writers” had to hang them on the walls next to the billboard. The next morning, we discovered that the school’s security had removed the board overnight and painted the wall behind it. Since then, Abu shreek il Mikaneek kept all his articles and the replies to them in his closet and never wrote again.

Disclaimer: Abu Shreek il Mikaneek™ denies any connections to a columnist bearing a similar name who happens to write for a Jordanian tabloid. Abu Shreek il Mikaneek™ and abu-shreek the blogger, denies any connections or suspicious relations to the office of the prime minister, and hence this notice. (litha igtada al tanweeh)