Abu Shreek: Identity (Crisis)

Your typical recipe for a deep-spiritual experience: a combination of 3-day sleep deprivation, a mixture of caffeine, methamphetamines and mild hallucinogens, topped off with a dose of the generic stressful daily complications. The result: The white light at the end of the tunnel appears. A possible conversation between oneself and one’s “creator” magically occurs (it must be the hallucination stuff), after which the lifeboat appears, and one decides to withdraw from reality, reconsider the identity and rededicate the existence to a presumed after life.

Of course this is not what happened to Abu Shreek. Simply because Abu Shreek does not endorse sleep deprivation (sleeping is a very pleasant activity that involves dreaming: a magnificent daily trip), does not pay attention to and practically ignores all the daily details that causes stress, and definitely does not wait for fictitious saviors. Still, a remarkable past month.

Abu Shreek has realized that the period from mid December until mid January is a very decisive period in any year and is definitely worth “utilizing” for hibernation and reflection. Heck, the whole country of Jordan took that whole month off, so Abu Shreek may as well show his patriotism and suspend any productive activities over the same period, annually. (On the bright side, this is just in (today’s opening headlines in the Jordanian dailies (it must have been a slow news day!)): Jordanians will be no longer required to spend his majesty’s birthday (and his majesty’s deceased father’s birthday!) dancing in the streets and waving flags, but they should express their happiness on this occasion by increasing their productivity and by staying on top of their duties. (Definitely a step in the right direction. But how about this for another step in the right direction: a high rank official in the Royal court expressed his deep dissatisfaction with the parliament recommendation to cut down on capitalist expenses since it will affect Royal court projects that are worth 35 million JDs. Could the “productivity” of these projects be disclosed information or is it “tongue elongation”?). [Note to Self: This is supposed to be a personal piece, get off of the tangent. Self to Note: This is personal].

So what happens over the last month? Nothing much really. The homicide of a childhood hero ( with all details aside), A New Year, some armed conflict in Somalia with American involvement, Jesus Birthday, Moses Birthday, the prices of tomatoes goes up, a heating gas crisis, inclement weather, sectarian violence, Some religious Eid, and NFL playoffs. Abu Shreek gets in a fight with his brother: (If I were a Fatah member and you were a Hamas member and I saw you wearing the black garbage bag, manning checkpoints, and vandalizing Palestinian building I may shoot you….If I were a Hamas member and you were a Fatah member I may have to shoot you too….silence…sleep). Abu Shreek gets in a heated argument with his roommate: (If Iran’s influence in Iraq continued to increase and the Shiite crescent that his majesty warned of decided to “invade” Jordan, and Jordan inevitably decided to ask for Israeli support…..). Slightly important events. None of them life-changing though.

Multiple symposiums, conferences and high-level meetings were held: Youth, technology and freedom of speech. Lunches, posing for pictures and sponsorship at a Royal level. Then the most popular Jordanian aggregator gets shut down (for technical purposes of course). Multiple warnings, despite the fact that Abu Shreek has not talked to anyone in years! Life-changing decisions. My dear three-readers. [After all, two of them are demanding the change and the third reader (the assigned internal intelligence piece of crap) will definitely be relieved, since he has to spend less time deciphering stuff that he is intrinsically mentally-ineligible to deal with.] And just when everything is pleasantly heading in the (wrong?!) direction… Then the last month happens and a rebirth as ONE.

Abu Shreek starts writing his passed-due NFL article (appears next Tuesday), starts scribbling a few notes for the next mailbag (next Thursday). Very insignificant. Browses through iftiradi and friends (Thanks to (link removed for technical purposes)). Pulls out some pictures and stares at them. Browses through Liberte Toujours (aptly named:RED). Pulls out the Tawjihi Arabic study guide (AlKasheff) and reads in it:(لوموا امة تعبدها حاكمهاوتفرعن عليها واستجاز كيدها وعدا مصالحها فلم تغضب ولم تمش اليه بالسيف)
[a verse from the Arabic curriculum for the 12^th grade in which the writer in defending the Arabic language “do not blame the language for its weakness, but blame a weak nation that surrendered to unjust leadership”]. Was the whole Arabic book wrong or only this part? Flips through more pages:
(لا تخافو نكالا فيه منشأكم فالحوت في اليم لا يخشى من البلل).
Oh well, the Ministry of interior just announced that the era of political arrests is over in Jordan! Good news. Remembers a promise. Many promises. Looks at the watch. Still got time for a few more random thoughts. (which naturally would not make it in print).

The decision making process and the reorganization of priorities become much easier when one factors in that the “acropolis” is much closer than initially imagined. It is clear and evident: The anti-Christ is conquering the world from the Bermuda triangle and the small to mid-sized signs have already took place (how else would you explain, the Brittney K-Fed divorce (using a text message no less), the Tsunami, the general Arabic situation, the Red Sox winning the world Series, the elephant in the room and his flag wavers, Gay marriage, and this!). As long as the priorities are set straight, there is no need to get too caught up in irrelevant details like “identity”. This will help avoid all crises and enjoy floating on air.